An exhausted-looking blonde dragged herself into the doctor’s office.

“Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep.”

“I have good news for you,” the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. “Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over.”

“Great,” the blonde answered, “I’ll try anything. Let’s give it a shot.”

A few weeks later the blonde returned, looking worse than ever.

“Doc, your plan is no good. I’m more tired than before!”

“I don’t understand how that could be”, said the doctor, shaking his head. “Those are the strongest pills on the market!”

“That may be true,” answered the blonde wearily, “but I’m still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it’s hard getting him to swallow the pill!”

blonde holding a baby walks into a drug store

and asks the clerk if she can use the stores baby scale.

“Sorry, ma’am,” says the clerk. “Our baby scale is broken. But we can figure the baby’s weight if we weigh mother and baby together on the adult scale, and then weigh the mother alone, and subtract the second number from the first.”

“Oh, that won’t work,” says the blonde.

“Why not?” asks the clerk.

“Because,” she answers, “I’m not the mother – I’m the aunt.”

A blond was rollerblading with her headphones on.

She stopped at a hair salon and asked for a haircut.

She instructed that the hair stylist could not take off her headphones.

The stylist replied refusing to cut her hair, so she left.

She went to a different hair salon and said the same thing.

This time, the stylist agreed to cut her hair.

After a while, the blond fell asleep in the chair.

To wake her, the stylist took off the headphones.

The blond immediately fell on the floor, flopped and died.

Confused at what happened, the stylist put on the headphones.

They were saying: “breath in, breath out.”

A somewhat advanced society has figured out how to package basic knowledge in pill form.

A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available.

The pharmacist says: “Here’s a pill for English literature.”

The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature.
“What else do you have?” asks the student.

“Well I have pills for art history, biology, and world history,” replies the pharmacist.

The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects.

Then the student asks: “Do you have a pill for math?”

The pharmacist says, “Wait just a moment,” goes back to the storeroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plonks it on the counter.

“I have to take that huge pill for math?” inquires the student.

The pharmacist replies, “Well you know math always was a little hard to swallow.”