When the teacher cheerfully asked, “Are you excited to bring your dad to Donuts with Dad?”, our six-year-old daughter, Susie, innocently replied, “Can Mommy come instead?” Amused, the teacher asked why. Susie explained with childlike honesty, “Mommy does all the dad stuff. She fixes my bike, plays catch with me, and checks for monsters under my bed. Daddy says he’s tired a lot and needs quiet time. If Mommy goes, she’ll have fun with the other dads and Daddy can stay home and watch his baseball. That’s nice, right?”
Unbeknownst to her, my husband Ryan, my father-in-law, and I were walking down the hallway at that exact moment and heard every word. We froze. Susie rushed into my arms, blissfully unaware of the emotional impact of her statement. Ryan stood still, his face pale. My father-in-law gently placed a hand on his shoulder and whispered, “She spoke her truth. Now you know what she feels.”
That evening, something shifted. Ryan helped Susie with bedtime, asked about her day, and even checked under her bed like she said he never did. Over the following weeks, he slowly became more involved—fixing her bike with her instead of watching from the couch, joining her in backyard games, and turning after-dinner time into laughter-filled moments. Susie noticed. So did I.
One morning, Susie excitedly handed Ryan the school invitation again and said, “Daddy, will you come with me this time? Because now you do all the fun stuff with me too.” His voice wavered as he said yes. It wasn’t just an invitation to donuts—it was an invitation back into her world, one he was finally ready to say yes to.
